You received a package from stamps com
I got the package from stamps.com today and thought that it might contain an amazing, out of this world prize. Little did I know that, in fact, it would be a 2-foot long package. It was so big that I needed to cut it in half before I could fit it on my coffee table. At first I thought I was being sent two feet of stamps, to which I’d reply, “wow! that’s a lot of stamps!” but when I lifted the package out of the white and purple envelope, it was a large piece of fiberglass.
I still didn’t get it. I mean, stamps com is a website where you can get all your postage online, right? What did they need to send me their fiberglass for? But when I looked at the paperwork included with the fiberglass, suddenly everything made sense. I was being sent a small piece of their office, just like I’m sending them back a piece of my office. It’s funny: I never thought of giving back to the company that helped me so much when I started out as an entrepreneur. So this is my gift to stamps com: a piece of you!
The package contained an envelope and a letter
The letter is barely 3 paragraphs long, but it was so full of gibberish that I had to read it a few times before I understood what the man was trying to say. It sounds like he’s kind of lost in the middle of some strange forest. He says that his name is John and that demands are being made on him by people who are saying “I want X”. I don’t know what X is and he doesn’t know what it means, but he’s scared so we should help him. He also says that he’s trying to find a way to contact us. There’s a bunch of numbers on the letter, but I’m not sure if they’re phone numbers or coordinates. They didn’t make much sense because they were in some kind of weird format.
The envelope had a stamp with a picture of some sort of man on it. Is that normal? It’s not like the stamps we have here in America, although I’m not sure if it’s from another country or if it’s just some kind of weird local mailing service thing. I don’t think the man was from around here, because he sounds terrified.
The letter said that you had been chosen to participate in a new marketing campaign
I’m not sure about the specifics, but I think that it has something to do with a new product that they’re selling. I’ve seen a commercial for it on TV. It’s called CONFORM-O-MATIC and you stick it on your head and then watch TV or go online and all of the sudden you have to have whatever the advertisers are selling.
It doesn’t look that bad actually. I think it might work.
I’m just thinking about selling it and getting rich so I can buy the nice things that I don’t have like the car.
You know, I’m not really enthusiastic about it but I think it might work.
It’s just like how you’re supposed to have a doctor’s check up every year and at least once a month you come in and have blood taken out of your arm and then they say: “Oh, look at the color of this blood!” And that is the healthiest blood that you can ever have.
So, that is the way it works.
They get you to think a certain way and then they take your blood, that’s what I think.
The campaign is called “Stamps for Stuff”
I don’t know how much I’ll be paid, but it seems like it’ll be enough to cover the extra $200 that my wife will spend on me this month. She said that she had a late charge on her credit card. That’s funny because I have one too. It’s really weird because we never had a late charge before. I guess it’s true that you start getting more paranoid when you turn 40.
My wife and I decided to cancel our AmEx because we didn’t like paying their annual fee. We thought it was more important to put our money into a savings account where we can earn interest on it—or at least that’s what my wife told me when I asked why she does what she does. I just do as she says, because after all, I’m married to her.
The goal of the campaign is to get people to start using stamps again
The letter said that stamps.com had done a lot of research and found that people just stopped using stamps completely. I guess they were all worried about identity theft, but they decided to stop being scared and just went back to the way things were before. The reason why it was called “STAMPS FOR STUFF” is because people are stupid, so they think that the first letters of their last name are the initials of their first name. If they misspell your last name, then they’ll just take the first letters of your initials and put them in the place where your full name should be. So, I guess that this campaign is supposed to get people to start using stamps again. I don’t know how.
They are going to be sending you a box of stamps. I’m sorry, I messed up. They have decided to send you a box of stamps because they’re trying to get people back into the habit of using stamps again. It’s not like there are any other forms of mail that don’t require money, so it’s just getting them back into the habit of paying for something that doesn’t cost anything but hassle and hassle is sometimes good so that means saving money.
This box of stamps is worth $10.00 and the reason why is because they want you to use the money you’ll save to buy more stamps because then they’ll get more business and that’s pretty cool. The people who sent me this letter and others like it must really be into giving away boxes of $10.00 stamps because I got the letter literally a day after one was delivered to my house.