What is an excuse, and why do we make them?
An excuse is something you say in order to take responsibility for something when it’s not really your fault. Too often, we make excuses for our mistakes or shortcomings and offer inflated compliments about ourselves to avoid being criticized. An important aspect of effectively coping with difficult emotions is to acknowledge our mistakes and take responsibility for them. This can be done in many ways, but the most important one is to recognize that we are not always responsible for other people’s reactions to us or what happens in our lives. Using excuses takes all the responsibility out of managing situations, when it really belongs to us and we can only take action if we want to. When someone else accuses us of doing something wrong or being unkind, it does not make sense to respond with an excuse. It is much more productive to accept responsibility and apologize, even if it is not necessary or appropriate.
In short, excuses are a sign that we’re not willing to take personal responsibility for our conduct or situation, and that we don’t have the courage to do so. Using them communicates two things: We’re weak and irresponsible, and everyone else should treat us that way too. Excuses are a form of manipulation. In fact, when our excuse isn’t accepted, we can often feel rejected and upset. Then we feel even more desperate to defend ourselves, and the tendency is to make excuses and then some.
The most common excuses we use and how to overcome them
What are some common excuses that we hear? “I only did it to be helpful!” “He/She made me angry! How was I supposed to control myself?” When someone makes excuses for their behavior rather than admit responsibility, it causes a lot of problems for the people around them. The response: Instead of making excuses for one’s behavior, it is important to focus on one’s behavior and how to change it in the future. One way to do this is by analyzing the situation rationally and deciding what one should have done, rather than justifying one’s actions by saying it was okay because of circumstances. “I always do things for you, so you should do this for me.” Many people believe that others are indebted to them and therefore, should do things for them. People who make excuses for their own behavior often make excuses for others as well, such as: “I was very busy because I was trying to do a lot of work.” or “I did not deserve the poor grade I got on that test.” The response: Realize that when you excuse someone’s behavior, it implies that they were not doing something in order to benefit you. It also implies that they are selfish and short-sighted. This is clearly not the case. Rather, they were busy with their own stuff. It is simply a form of worry-worrying and puts the other person in the position of having to be responsible for how you feel. What if someone had an accident due to your behavior? “I was just being nice.” This can be a nice thing to say, but it makes excuses for one’s behavior. You don’t have to worry about what others think of you because you are always nice! Think instead about ways in which you could improve. The response: Be nice! Be polite. Be kind. But don’t make excuses for your behavior.
How to stay motivated when you don’t feel like doing anything
The excuses we make don’t help us to get back on our feet; they only push us further away from any possible efforts to change. To get motivated, it is best to have a clear goal in mind that is achievable. Punishment is not the way for motivation because it often makes things worse and pushes one further away from their intended goal. Another reason we need to be motivated is because of our inherent curiosity: we would be interested in what one can do after facing a difficult situation. We often find that motivation is a key to success because it makes us feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. Another reason for staying motivated is for furthering ourselves, as this can be an important aspect of self esteem. We don’t have to choose between being successful or feeling good about ourselves; we can achieve both in life by making positive changes.
It is not enough to say that one can do it; the full potential of any person has the ability to be unlocked. Everyone wants to be successful, because even when someone is successful, he or she will still try to improve themselves. The way to achieve this kind of motivation is by being persistent so that success will follow naturally. This article makes a compelling argument that it’s not only “don’t quit” but also “don’t make excuses. “Every success happens because of the person that refused to quit and the person who refused to make excuses.
The importance of taking responsibility for your own actions
What is the best way to learn from our mistakes? If we make mistakes, we must take responsibility for them. If we don’t change them, we will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. The reason we try to avoid taking responsibility is because of our fear of failure or loss. We try to avoid these things by making excuses instead of taking responsible action. The solution: Taking responsibility means accepting one’s own faults and realizing that they exist. We should confront those aspects of ourselves that are responsible for negative faults and develop a plan of action to change them. This may not be easy at first, but it can be rewarding in the long run. Keep in mind that there is no one who will take responsibility for us, so we have to take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, we’ll feel a new sense of empowerment, freedom and self-confidence.
It is important to realize that there is no one who will take responsibility for us but us. So, it is up to us to not only be responsible for ourselves but responsible of others too. It is a matter of our own empowerment and active involvement on the earth plane rather than remaining passive in life due to our own limitations and lack of certain knowledge.
How to find the courage to do what you really want in life
Everyone wants to be happy, but we often take actions based on what we think other people want from us. If someone asks for something that we don’t like to do or someone gives an order about a choice that we think is right, it can be very difficult to go against what others want and go in a different direction. The response: We shouldn’t try to change others’ expectations of us, but should instead make our own plans and put our needs first. People in a relationship should be equals who support each other. So instead of trying to fit someone else’s life, we need to live our own lives and make decisions based on what we want rather than how others expect us to.
When someone gives an order, it’s very easy to just do what we’re told and do what we think is expected of us. But when someone tells us we have to do something that we don’t want to do or act in a way that we don’t think is right, it can be difficult and confusing. We must remember: We don’t need others’ permission to live our lives how we want.